Well Christmas will soon be up on us. Holiday baking...which I don't do..but my wonderful husband does, bless his heart. I pace my self . There are rules...rules set by me about my holiday eating and rules about what I can eat when we are out and about on a shopping trip for the holidays. Last Friday, December 10th, Joe, Jill, and I all went Christmas Shopping! We started by eating out at Village Inn. I kept it farely safe and ordered my usual. That is a Garden Salad, a half of a turkey sandwich ,and my choice of pie. I have to have something sweet after I eat. I allow myself that once a day. Because generally that is all I eat , is one meal a day.
Then off we went on our shopping spree..trying to make a dent into our shopping lists! Then coffee time rolled around. All three of us are coffee lovers, especially Starbucks!!! So Joe and I ordered the largest Eggnog latte we could and Jill, since she is pregnant, stuck with a strawberry smoothie. I was calculating up in my mind the calories in that sucker...and I definitely went over my quota of calories...THAT WAS IT...NO MORE FOOD INTAKE FOR ME!!! I felt like a muffin top...you know where the body , tummy rolls, rise over the top of your pants..I hate it! I hate it ! I hate it! I figured though with all the walking we were doing the calories would even out . Then supper time rolled around. It was 7:00 p.m. My daughter is pregnant, she needed to eat and so did my husband. But in my mind...NO WAY! The fear rose up in side of me..My daughter is very sensitive and very moody right now. She has lived with her "mom" having EDO's all of her life, since she could understand what they actually are. But there are days, my EDO's, wear and tear at my loved ones and they get angry at me for NOT EATING!!!
Stopping at a fast food joint just scared the living hell out of me!!! It was after 6:00 p.m. and I read in a magazine , a health magazine promoting thinness, stated that anything consumed after 6:00p.m. at night would most likely be calories that would go to fat! Well with my warped thinking on my own body fat and living with EDO's I took it personally so I basically live by that rule, that statement! When we had to stop to eat a second time which is normal for normal people, I broke down in tears when my daughter did not understand my fear of eating that second meal of the day out . Fast foods are especially terrifying for me. Once in a blue moon I will cave and allow myself to eat fast food, but rarely. This put a damper on what was a wonderful trip out shopping with my daughter and husband.
Yes, EDO's are selfish! I hate them...I live with them every single day of my life and they are not going away. You would think that since I am crowding 50, I should care less about my weight. It's how I grew up..It's how I lived through a lot of horrible pain as a child at the age of 7 when one of the most horrific events of my life occurred, but of all days, it happened on my birthday!!! Damn! Of all days, why on my 7th birthday. A time I was foot loose, fancy free, not a care in the world, as every child should grow up and feel, safe, secure and enjoying their childhood.
Things are better between my daughter and I. She just told me she hates my EDO's and I told her I DO TOO! My husband is so understanding. There was no pressure from me for not eating that second meal that day.. I love ya Joe... Thank You! And Thank You God For Giving Me Such An Understanding Husband!
I love my kids and I love my husband...I have a good life!!! Ok, must run for now!! I love ya all!
God Bless!
PKS
