What is God asking of me??? Somedays I feel I have found the path ,the way, the road, I am to go on or go down and the next I am totally clueless! It makes me crazy. I have ruined my health and I don't know if I will ever get that back. I used to walk 6-7 miles a day or be very active for 3-4 hrs. if the elements were so bad I couldn't go outside. After the Holidays I always feel so ill at ease. Restless... unsettled with myself....I should be doing more to help my family out. I'm doing that in a sense by working to obtain my BSN in Nursing then maybe my Masters. I just don't know. I need motivation because I certainly do not have any of it right now. I could curl up in a ball like a big o'l bear and hibernate until Spring is finally here.
But it's ironic because bears love to eat. Infact they are not picky! The more food the better. Me, I had to force myself to eat tonight. I had an orange and a bowl of fiber plus. And I felt guilty for eating that. I am going to be 50 this year and who on God's green earth wants to fight the feeling of being fat for the remainder of their life? ???? Well, I don't want it to be me.....please Lord, don't let it be me. Take this horrible burden of Anorexia and Bulimia away from me. I Love You and I Need You Lord! I can't make it with out you!
In the mean time..I will keep putting one foot in front of the other, just trying to live my life with the people I love and I know they love me...and all my canine kids too! I do appreciate all of you that do take the time to read my blog. I haven't figured out how to spice it up a bit and download more pictues! Give me time!
Love And God Bless!
Pam
Being a bear is a very good thing!
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