I know that makes absolutely NO SENSE to most of the , but it sure makes sense to me and probably all my peers who struggle with EDO's. Please bare with me as I figure out this brand new lap top my husband bought for me! Because I am an impulsive , neurotic, eating disorder lunatic. Oh No! I couldn't settle for a Wal-mart lap top! I had to have one of the VERY BEST in the computer world that cost us 1200 smackaroos! Am I crazy??? Well probably yes! Who do I think I am to have to have thee very best of things!!! Oh Lord, please help me change!!! When Joe and I first got married I was a very spoiled rotten teen ! Yes, yes I was!!! And I had full blown EDO's back then. But you see, this body of mine was able to deal with all the strain I was putting on it. NOT ANY MORE! I have a good chance of dying if I go into a full blown relapse again. I can't keep this up! I'm trying to eat one meal a day. Yes, one meal a day of what ever I want and that is it for the day. Today we had pancakes and bacon. I will not be eating again today. Guilt floods me. I am my own worst enemy. If you are reading this, I need your prayers please. If you are happy with your weight and body hang on to that and never let that go. God made you special. And he loves you. He loves me! I am just standing in the road. You all have a great Sunday..I have college homework to do...but really could crawl back into bed and stay there indefinitely.
I love you guys!
I will talk to you soon!
PKS
One meal is better than none. Keep moving forward Pam. You can do it!
ReplyDeleteI saw the link to your blog on ^^Stacey^^'s blog and I instantly understood exactly what "fattest anorexic in the room" means. I was there ten years ago and I got out. You can too. One day, one tiny bite at a time.
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