Friday, July 22, 2011
Counseling......is like picking a scab off of a long deep sore when you first start....
I have a wonderful counselor! Her name is "Carrie". She was my counselor way back in 1995 when I first entered the Iowa Lutheran Hospital Eating Disorder Unit for treatment of my depression,anorexia ,and bulimia. Hard to believe that I was only "35" years old and a Pediatric Intensive Care Nurse. Our kids were still in elementary school and jr. high. WOW! I had to be there each day @ Iowa Lutheran Hospital by 8:00 a.m. That was weigh in time and vital signs were obtained. It was a very long day . We patients were there from 8:00 a,m. to 6:00p.m. each night . All three meals were ate under supervision. The very first day was one of the hardest days of my life. I wanted to turn my car around and drive home and forget this entire rehab idea!!! If I had, I would not be here on this earth today. My EDO's would have killed me. Over the years the Iowa Lutheran Hospital Eating Disorder Rehab program closed. I lost track of Carrie up until the past month. I am soooo glad I found her. She helped me before and I know she can help me again. Right now therapy is very painful. A lot of painful issues are being addressed. Thus the tears fall and basically I am a wreck right now...as Carrie said...when therapy first starts...it is at first very painful ....and that is indeed where I am at....very lost...very sad........it will get better...I must believe... I will be a better, stronger person when I work through all of this garbage that is keeping me stuck in a painful cycle....I want to thank "Stacey" for being right here for me and lightening the load ....I love ya!!! Till next time my friends! Love Pam
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It will get better...It will get better...You are worth it...You are worth it...You will be a better, stronger person for this. Find a good mantra and keep repeating it in your head, or out loud. We say all these negative things to ourselves so much that we believe them. Imagine what the world would be like if we said positive things to ourselves and began to believe them. So glad you found an old friend to help you. I am here to listen and boost. Take care, my friend.
ReplyDeleteStacey,
ReplyDeleteYou are such a blessing in my life! Thank you! I am my own worst enemy. I don't like the pain and the struggles I am experiencing right. Joe is such a good man and he hates to see me like this. This is something he can not fix. And I know that bothers him. I do appreciate your blog too! It is so up beat and you make me laugh. I will talk to you soon! Love Pam