Tough Love

Being a parent is one of the most rewarding , wonderful, awesome privileges that God can bless us with.  It is also one of the most heart breaking, scary, gut retching job at times.  Joe and I have been married "31" years.  I am very blessed to be married with a man who understand me for who I am.  Anorexic, Bulimic, Depression, and all.  He has educated himself over the years to try and understand these complex diseases.  And as far as our parenting goes, we learned quickly to hold the united front when it comes to raising our children.  We parent together.  We learned not to let any of our children try and play one parent over the other.  Even though our kids are grown up we still hold the "United Front".  Right now we have a "27" year old son who has a Traumatic Brain Injury.  He will be "28" July 12th.   First, it's a miracle that he is alive after his assault.  But with his recovery back to learning to live and find himself, he has chose to go down paths of destruction.   He chose to quit taking all of his daily meds and start using street drugs plus return to drinking heavily.  In order to save this child from himself  we had to first have him arrested, then second, admit him into a dual diagnosis treatment center.  He is currently one angry young man, who thinks that the world owes him!  He blames every one else for his current situation.  He is angry at Joe.  He is angry at me. He hates the world and blames everyone but himself.  He is demanded that "We" get him out of rehab ASAP.  He is caught in this grandiose idea that he is above EVERYONE!!!  He is demanding and disrespectful to the staff in this rehab and to Joe and I.  We were going take 4 days and go see Tony, plus take his favorite cake and celebrate his birth early.  He of course is calling all of the shots.  He holds so much anger!  He is working so hard at trying to get out of this rehab that he isn't concentrating on getting well and working the program.  So Joe and I have made the tough decision to pull the rug out from under Tony.   We have made the very difficult choice NOT to travel 7 hrs. to see him right now.  He thinks he is above all of us and the world owes him.  We need to get his attention!  He needs to find God and find  purpose in his life.  I even had Joe buy me the book " Praying For Your Adult Child".   We are praying that God will help our son, intervene and help Tony.  Save him from himself.  It breaks my heart to do this "Tough Love" thing.  I hate it.  It hurts Joe and I more than Tony will ever be able to understand.  Please pray for our son and this situation.   Stress makes my EDO's go wildly out of control...on the positive side...I have made an appointment to see my counselor next Friday.   God please guide me and my family!   Thanks for listening everyone!  Love Pam