I have been attempting to write this particular blog for a few days now and for some reason my computer keeps erasing the entire message! Dang! I am determined to get my feelings out Hell or Highwater No matter how many times I must type this!!! Somedays blogging is easy and the words come freely. Other days, the words are stifled and I can bring my self to type anything at all.
The Elephant in the room I am referring to is ME! No one see's this elephant but me! Every where I go the elephant is there in the room too.
.I don't hear voices. I just have thoughts that plague me every day. The thoughts are relentless and determined to drag me under. I must fight for my life. While I still have time. Pray for me my friends...
These thoughts tell me how fat I am, how ugly and worthless I am, that I am disgusting....the negative thoughts are endless...will they ever stop. I am currently taking pseudephedrine and chromium which is a mineral. Both are appetite suppressants. I drink fluids with out calories all day long to trick my stomach that I am actually full. How much longer can I do this.?? My diet lately has been only high fiber cereal twice a day. It fills me up and the calories aren't as high . I can eat the cereal with out feeling guilty that I ate something..
I've been praying the past few days and will continue to do so. Take care of yourself, my friend. These EDOs are the devil trying to enter back into your life. You ARE stronger and smarter than that, Pam. Your body needs fuel to survive. You cannot keep driving a car without filling up the tank. I know you know this in your head, but you must not listen to those nasty voices. They are wrong. They are trying to bring you down. Don't let them. I am praying, thinking of, and cheering for you. If I can do more to help, you know how to find me.
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