Good Monday Morning....Learning to love the skin you are in...easier said than done..

I tend to be my own worst enemy!  I really try not to be so critical of myself .  It has taken me years to get to the point where I finally except who I am !  Though I struggle with this..I am not defined by the number on the scale!  When I am struggling with EDO issues I just do not weigh myself.  Why add insult to injury?  I have come  a long way from where I was .  I used to feel that I had to "earn" my food.  Yes, Earn My Food! I look at that now and see how silly that is.  But when you are in full blown relapse ,in my case, food is not my friend.  Food is my enemy.  After all the years of treatment I have had, one thing that is and was redundantly spoken to me...."Food Is My Medicine!"  I have been compared to an alcoholic so many times ....yet an alcoholic CAN live with out alcohol.  It's a chose.  A person who struggles with EDO's can NOT live with out food. I do want to say..in no way am I blogging to try and trigger any one else's EDO's.  This is all about healing for me and blogging my thoughts and my life in a sense.  I have an incredibly wonderful family.  A husband, my "Joe", who has stood by my side for 32 years and has learned right a long with me what my EDO's are and how they do affect my entire family.  He educated himself. He read, he researched, he watched every thing on TV to become more familiar with these illnesses.  My kids have been great too.  My daughter and I have a unique relationship and she too, has learned with me , about living a life with a mom who has anorexia and bulimia.  I will never forget the time she was in nursing school and she came home upset because she missed a question on her test over "Eating Disorders."  She walked in the door and said, "Mom! You are NOT a normal "ANOREXIC!" LOL....Because Anorexic's are supposed to LOVE to cook and bake and entertain!!!! AND YOU DON'T!!! LOL...So sorry my darling daughter that I am not a normal anorexic!!! LOL...To be honest with you , I don't know a normal anorexic! LOL! No Offense to my peers.  We have to laugh..We just do!!  Expcept your self and learn through all the things you have been through! Must run for now.. Love you guys!  Have a Great Monday!