We have our Christmas tree up already! We will not forget the meaning and the importance of Thanksgiving and all that we are so very thankful for, God is so good to us. I can set her and I think about the up coming festivities with family for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I get excited and I create the ideal celebrations in my mind, the candies, the cookies, the cakes, the garnishes, the ongoing grazing all day and all evening until you feel like you can burst. It taste sooo good going down, but the guilt and the suffering I endure each year makes me wonder if it's worth it. The older I get the harder it is for me to burn off all those calories that I consume trying out new candies, especially fudge. I love fudge. That used to cost me 50 - 100 set ups if dare eat a piece or a brisk walk out in the elements. Drinking lots of water, diet soda, coffee, ect. keeps my stomach somewhat full, but eventually I cave in and I figure if I eat 1 piece of fudge, hell, I might as well eat 5-6 then move on to the cookies and other deserts. I blew it , so might as well blow it big! I hate it , but it is what it is. That's why avoidance is sometimes the best thing for me. If I don't go then I am not tempted to fall into the traps of my EDO's and go through all the guilt and anxiety of being around and consuming so much food. I have been working on balance for years now, just when I think I have found that balance these monsters(Anorexia and Bulimia) rear their ugly head and consume me. I refuse to miss Christmas or Thanksgiving with my family this year. I have missed way to many because my anxiety and fear of food and over eating won, but not this year! Life is to short and to precious to worry about my wt. and how much fat is around my waist. I could write tons and tons of all the EDO thoughts that creep into my head. With God on my side...I will conquer these EDO's. The holidays are about our Lord Jesus Christ and all that he has blessed us with when we celebrate "Thanksgiving" and it's about the birth of baby Jesus when we celebrate Christmas. My parents and Joe's mom are still all alive and I don't want to miss it!! God Bless and Goodnight!
Love ya all!
PKS
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