Hi Everyone! My name is Pam Sitzman. I am 49 years old. I am married to a wonderful man and have 3 grown children. We also have 2 grandkids and one on the way. We have 4 canine kids in the house who keep life very interesting! I have always wanted to start a "Blog" but didn't have a clue on how to even begin or where to start. So I just picked up our laptop , checked my wall on FB, which is my "Happy Place"..LOL...and then I googled "Blogs". And I ended up here...flying by the seat of my pants! I love people! I love animals! I also am an RN . God has indeed blessed me.
Each day that I wake up , I fight very real battles...the same battles that thousands of other people fight with each day...I struggle with "Anorexia and "Bulimia" and have struggled with both since the age of "12". Such a burden for a little girl or anyone to have to live with. I would NOT wish these illnesses on my worst enemy. When I look at myself in the mirror, which I try to avoid when at all possible...I see a 300 pound plus women ...when in all reality I am 5' 1" tall and 100 pounds. I have blonde hair and blue eyes.. I have been in more EDO treatment facilities than I care to remember throughout my life. As soon as I can figure out how to post a picture of myself I will. :) Eating disorders are the number one mental health illness that are fatal. I have been near death more than once. The hell I put my family through I can never take back, but I sure can fight this illness each day and fight to live, to survive! EDO's do NOT discriminate! They are not illnesses that only the rich and famous suffer from. At one point in time , I was very ashamed of my EDO's. I am no longer ashamed. I have decided to hold my head high and fight not for my own life, but for others, to reach out to others who suffer from the same illnesses. Depression goes hand in hand. The Depression can be the deepest ,darkest, pit of hell imagineable that follows you where ever you go. If you can rise above the depression and you can..it is hard...but you can do this! You can also rise above your EDO's. If it was just as simple as "JUST EAT" , like I have heard hundreds of times before, well friend, I sure would do it, but I am terrified when my EDO battles are at their worst. Placing God Number 1 and then my husband and kids helps me battle my EDO's . I journal too. Events with a lot of food and people , where the main focus is to eat, scares the hell out of me. When my EDO's win, I do not make it to the events I have been invited to. I have missed out on a lot of family events all because of my fear of being around food. I would love to be normal, but I am not even sure what that is! Currently it is Saturday and 5:20 p.m. My husband and I brought home subway sandwiches with one cookie each. In my mind, "Take Out" food is fattening, so that is the limit of food for me today...the holidays are fast approaching...I love the holidays, yet this is the hardest time of year for me to fight to live, to fight to eat enough to survive! I know that I am not alone in this war and it's a pleasure to meet each and everyone of you.
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